Beauty for Ashes: Are there any known Single Moms in the Bible?

Hagar comes to mind and I remember the difficulty she passed through raising her son all alone.

In the beginning, she had no choice in the decision that was being made concerning her journey into motherhood, she was after all, a slave. This decision was made by her mistress, who only saw Hagar as an object to be used.  The Bible tells us Sarah took the maid and gave her to her Husband to be his second wife, her consent was never sought. Bible Reference: Genesis 16 

There was always going to be some problem with this arrangement, and it began from the moment Hagar knew she was pregnant. At last! she had an upper hand against her mistress, she thought, so that ugly human attribute reared its head: arrogance. This ensured that she was already on the run even before her baby was born. She fled when Sarah decided to take steps to remind her she was still the Boss!

It was at this point she faced the risk of raising this unborn child alone had God not come to her help. When the angel of God found her, a pregnant woman wandering in the wilderness, uncertain of her survival, she immediately heeded God’s instruction in returning to that difficult situation she fled from in the first place so that her son could be born in his father’s house.

Then fast forward many years later to when Ishmael (Hagar’s son) had grown into a teenager and now a big brother to Isaac (Sarah’s miracle baby boy), his place and that of Hagar was still not secure in that household, if anything they were now not needed at all. Bible Reference: Genesis 21

Eventually, the whole situation culminates in both mom and son being asked to leave.

Hagar is now back on the road, this time with her teenage boy in tow. No hopes of survival, no clear idea of where they were heading, and they were lost wandering in the wilderness.

It came to a point in time when it looked like all was lost and Hagar was going to lose her son and not able to bear it, she looked away weeping bitterly. The boy had called upon God and in His faithful nature and according to earlier promises, God heard him.

In a nutshell, Hagar was able to see her son grow and develop into a man, a husband and a father.

Family dynamics is quite a complex topic but even though nothing can trump the ideal family structure of both parents being present while kids grow and develop, kids with one parent are not disadvantaged whatsoever, depending on what branch of the tree you are sitting on that is!

Yes, a single parent will juggle a million things at a time and could probably do with more than 24 hours in a day (that will do as a birthday gift, God!) just so that they could get a few more things done!

Nothing is impossible to those who believe. 

I am confident that through Christ who strengthens us all, we can deliver on our calling as parents. Sometimes we may feel we fall short as parents, especially if it is just one parent doing it all because there are so many things to remember: school letters, extracurricular activities, medical appointments etc. I remember guilt plagued days which happens especially when I had forgotten to do something like sign a letter or pack school lunches. The look on their faces when I yell "Sorry guys, school dinner today" would haunt me all through my day at work!

Most mothers unlike Hagar had a part in making that decision to step into motherhood and some just like Hagar had no choice in stepping into that world of single parenting.
Let’s leave for now the path that got you to this point.
Ok, so the covenant of marriage has been broken, but how does that affect your calling as a Mom?

I am not trying to make light of the heartbreak that comes with a separation, but think of it, a string of meaningless relationships or other unhealthy dependencies will not give you the answers you are seeking or serve as a substitute to what you think you may have lost.

You are stronger than you know!

Parenting can be hard, either working it on your own or with help from a partner, I have come to realize that it requires your undivided attention, I mean having and raising kids should come with a manual!

Most single moms, when thrown into this situation start with throwing themselves into misery, wallowing in self-pity, forgetting the kids that are also caught up in it. If you start with condemning yourself from the start, then you are well on your way to failing your kids and yourself. This reminds me of when Hagar was wandering in the wilderness, basically without a roadmap or plan for their future. She had given up hope until God instructed her through His angel to get up, take the boy by the hand to help him up, that was when she was able to see the well of water nearby and from that moment, she decided they were going to survive.

Nature and Nurture, they say: all children are born with the nature of Christ, they are God's creation. We are not perfect in anyway, but we can at least nurture and encourage them to build a relationship with God, that is our call.  So why don’t you look forward to the future and give that nurturing everything you’ve got.

.... Seek God first and all things will be added....

.... Train up your child the way to go....

The call is to get up, fasten your belts (if you’re wearing one!) and get yourself into this space of knowing what is required of you as a Mother: pray, educate yourself on what is needed, talk to those that are qualified to help and you will gain the needed tools to make a start. I know some mothers have basically nothing to even start with, but I assure you that there is help. Hagar thought all was lost and there was no hope: there is hope, help will be sent if you ask for it in faith.
We can only try and try some more.

The covenant of marriage will always stand as intended by God despite the attack on it as seen by higher divorce statistics in recent times but God is faithful to anyone who seeks him, none is cast aside, even single moms. Your covenant now is to your children, be faithful in attending to that and watch God reward you by attending to your desires that are according to His Will for you.

The struggle is real but remember: babies will grow into toddlers; toddlers will grow into little boys and girls; and little boys and girls into teenagers and before you know it, they are off to explore the world and you would beg they take you along (yeah right!).

Life is in chapters, enjoy every bit of it till you move on to the next because you will move.

I pray this piece blesses anyone reading this, encourage you to make a commitment to be supportive to those around you needing help.

#itsallaboutloveandmercy

Love you all.

" But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ (making us acceptable to Him) and gave us the ministry of reconciliation ( so that by our examples we might bring others to Him)"

2 Corinthians 5 vs 18 (Amplified Version)