Her Works Will Praise Her

The first thing I remembered when I woke up this morning was a poem I had been taught in primary school: My Mother by Ann Taylor.

It was taught as a song and I kept singing it repeatedly in my head, couldn’t sing it out loud as I wanted my little munchkins to think I didn’t even remember it was Mother’s Day.

I’d been ignoring the huddling together, conversing in hushed tones, walking into a room and the frantic packing away of God knows what! Lol! Well, I found out they were making me bracelets.

They never fail to surprise me pleasantly any chance they get and all I wanted to do was carry on as if I did not know they were planning something.

I have read many amazing messages from people and comments on social media. One in particular, stuck with me: “a mother can play any role, but her role is one that no one else can play”

This made me pause and think of how important the relationship between a mother and a child is, and I include anyone that has stepped into that role: dads, aunts, grandparents, guardians, anyone who provides the tender nurturing that can soothe, heal and help develop a confident, strong, considerate but also a compassionate human.

I learn from my kids every day and I can say it took me a while to admit this especially to myself. My type of upbringing gave me that sense that I had to appear to always be in control to firmly keep them in line. I had to unlearn all that, I had to watch and listen and the first lesson I learnt was that each one of them was different, they possessed different strengths, abilities, temperaments and faced different challenges.

Understanding their individuality helped improve our relationship. Parents do not have to wait till kids are teenagers before they are allowed to have a voice, lay the groundwork early for those years that may, or may not, prove to be hard work.

I have heard many times from other mothers, “parenting does not come with a manual”, that's right, you must follow your instinct and do what you believe is right by your little ones. I tell myself that parents are all employed by the same boss, God.

He gave us charge over these ones to guide through this journey called life and equip them with the necessary tools to navigate it successfully. So, to succeed requires team effort, parents who are patient and willing to listen while steering their kids right, as best as they can, not parents barking orders at their children and expecting no form of resistance. No follower likes a harsh team leader, success comes if you can learn to work together, i.e., parents listening to their kids and kids listening to their parents. Even the bible supports this:

“Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

Honour your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),

“that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” - Ephesians 6 1:4

I love hearing what my kids have to say, it does make me laugh a lot which I enjoy but I figured out if I wanted them to really listen to what I tell them, then I must be willing and ready to listen to them. This has benefitted all of us, just sitting together at the kitchen table and giving our views on different topics help us to listen, disagree intelligently, consider each other’s point of view and just enjoy each other’s company. In doing that, I know they are learning some important values.

I love listening to them pray as well, they pray for everyone! Lol! I wait patiently as they reel off the names of family, friends, teachers, school friends, neighbours, my work colleagues, my boss, everyone we know, even Boris Johnson and his crew are not missed out, that one cracks me up every time! Why does it have to be Boris Johnson and His crew? They make it sound like a music band!😂

I’ve learnt I don’t need to act so unnecessarily tough around them anymore because they know for a fact I am a warrior, a survivor of many battles (now, I believe everyone is a survivor of one battle or the other) and that knowledge, plus them knowing their warrior mum can also be vulnerable at times, gives them the true understanding of strength, strength they know they can always draw from.

I can go on and on, listing ways I am changed and a better person because I allowed myself to be taught by my kids. It’s humbling yet, utterly amazing. I am not like any other mother and I do not wish to be because that places unnecessary pressures on you. Nothing wrong in taking a leaf out of other Mom’s life lessons but mould it to fit yourself and your kids. Do not beat them up to be someone they are not but the best they can be.

I love the kind of mom I have been fashioned into because I understand the magnitude of the job at hand and I do not want to fail my Boss, God. It’s a continuous learning journey but I'm looking forward to what the coming years will bring, without fear.

To all the Mothers that have celebrated today in untainted joy and to all the Mothers who had to endure painful memories today: Your works will praise you. You will always be called Blessed and the One who comforts, will comfort you on every side whenever you need it.

YOU ARE LOVED.

Ige