Worth far more than rubies

 'A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 

Honour her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:10-31 NIV'

The above bible text came into my mind earlier today and some bits of understanding was shed into my spirit.

Before I share my thoughts on the verses above, I’d want to use this medium to encourage anyone that may be reading this and going through any kind of abuse, to speak up and to seek help.
You will be heard; you will be comforted and you will be supported. You are not alone as you've allowed yourself to believe. You carry visible and invisible scars but believe me when I say many wear the same scars; some may have their scars well-hidden or have it out there for the world to see but whichever way the scars are worn, the power and strength these survivors now wield is what they use to make a difference such as encouraging you to speak up cause they've got you.
Every survivor was saved by another survivor, you need to survive to be able to save another. Your experience on the battlefield of domestic abuse is one that must have a purpose, what better purpose than being able to save another.
Every survivor of abuse in my humble opinion is a superhero 💪

I pray you’d be loosened from the infirmity called domestic abuse and gather enough strength to seek help.

‘And when Jesus saw her, he called her to him, and said unto her, Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.

Luke 13:12 KJVAE’

There is help out there to understand what domestic abuse is, just in case you still have doubts on what you are going through and there is also support available to you should you seek it.

To give some context to my write up today and why my focus is on women as victims - it's no longer hidden that the church just as much as some culture could be complicit or even a factor that continues to put individuals at a higher risk of domestic abuse.

Just this past week, there’s been one too many distressing news about victims of domestic abuse and one that hit hard was that of a relatively well-known gospel singer who had passed away allegedly after suffering abuse.
Of course, everyone including myself has had something to say. I wasn't shocked when it was reported that religion may have played a role in her staying with her alleged abuser and in the limited advice and support she probably sought and received.

I'm sure every church goer or anyone with some biblical knowledge, would be familiar with the story of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. "Who can find her?" Mothers teach their daughters to be 'her'; pastors tell their female congregation they must be 'her' - this virtuous woman is so scarce and hard to find that some men go off on a hunt for this virtuous woman who apparently is as mythical as a Unicorn.
As much as I hate to admit it, I personally find listening to anyone quoting these particular verses very irritating, not the bible verses themselves but man's interpretation of it and how they have repeatedly used it to manipulate women to stay on in their abusive marriages.

There is no woman in my world that I don't consider spiritual, capable, intelligent or virtuous and I don't have to waste my time on a hunt to find her. I'm surrounded by them everywhere I turn.

Every woman is far more precious than rubies and I'd say well done 👏 to anyone who has the good sense of seeing those qualities in the women around them.

We all want to be like the virtuous woman, we all are like her already.

One of the verses above reads - '...Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.'
Now, if the husband taking his seat amongst 'respected' elders, pastors, is an abuser, does that not make them all one and the same? If you turn a blind eye to abuse, you are just as guilty.

'Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,

Psalms 1:1 NIV'

There are no different set of rules for religious leaders or whatnots, we are all accountable to God for our deeds, either good or bad. If you see evil and refuse to speak against it, you are just as evil.

‘He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.’

Proverbs 18:22 NIV

The good thing that has been found here in the verse above is a virtuous, hardworking, loving, caring woman who wants nothing but the good of their family.
A man who recognises and appreciates that woman, will then obtain favour from God. That appreciation is what was depicted in verses 28-29 of Proverbs 31, where the husband arose and called his wife ‘blessed’. A good man is respected amid his peers and elders for the simple reason that he honours his wife for all that she has done. I repeat a good man deserving of respect, honours his wife for all she has done.

If men begin to call out each other for ill-treating their wives and are denied a seat amongst other respectable men, maybe then we can begin to see some silver lining in these dark clouds of domestic abuse.

I wondered why a ruby was the gemstone of choice to compare to the strength of a woman in the text in Proverbs 31. So, I looked up the properties of a ruby and discovered it is known for its durability, it's therefore no wonder that it was the choice of comparison to the strength of a woman. A comparison made by a king (author of Proverbs 31) who had allowed his mother's teaching to touch his heart so much he had to praise women.

Mothers should not just raise daughters to be virtuous women, please let's raise our sons to be worthy of a virtuous woman.

Lots of love

Ige